I am boycotting self-help books. I have actually been boycotting them all year – but it’s gone so well that I’m going to keep boycotting them indefinitely. Now to be clear – I have still enjoyed books on spirituality, books on improving society as a whole, and memoirs – I’ve read Spirit Junkie, I’m Still Here, and Untamed this year (after I started my boycott of self-help books) and loved them! I have Big Friendship, A Course in Miracles Made Easy, and more on my TBR list for 2021. But self-help about changing my life, becoming a better leader/entrepreneur/something, adding things, fixing my life, getting 10% happier, etc. etc… I’m done.
I have gone through multiple phases in my life where I read a lot of self-help books. And yes, I have taken some wonderful pieces from them that have helped me improve my life, especially in my early 20s. But during my last phase in 2019, I found myself feeling frustrated, unsatisfied, and like these self-help books weren’t helping me at all. In fact, they were hurting me. See, I have this amazing life, and I already know what goals I have that are truly important to me (not one’s society tells me I should have). I know what matters to me, I know my life is great. The things I want to work on, are not making big changes to my life; they are working on getting more in alignment with my true self, with what I see as my purpose in life.
Self-help books keep giving me tasks to do, habits to build, routines to create… all this doing, doing, doing. Do more, be more, make more, find more in your life. Build a new life, build a business and leave your job, lose 50 pounds, change who you are. Be stronger, be more ambitious, make a niche for yourself, work harder, simplify what’s in your life so you can add on to it. So much MORE. I do not want more. I want to make the MOST of the life I have. I want to be the MOST myself I can be, the MOST connected to people and Spirit I can be, and the MOST engaged mother/friend/wife I am capable of, while still being myself.
There is such a difference between MORE and MOST. If you aren’t paying attention, you can see them as being the same… but they aren’t. One is about chasing things in life, the other is about living YOUR life. I do not want to expose myself to being told to do, have, or be more at this point in my life. I do not want to chase anything and miss out on what is right here, right now. I do not want to be influenced by this cultural focus on achieving.
This doesn’t mean I don’t have goals. I have a lot of goals – some are big and scary. But they are goals I have tested and found true to myself, and that they will help me live in the present and make the most of the life I have, rather than constantly reaching for more or trying to change my life. My life is good. I’m okay not wanting more than I have. I think it’s become the societal norm to always want more, to always expect more of ourselves. I have decided to step out of that lane, leave that race. I don’t want anything to do with MORE anymore… just with MOST. Give me the most true connections to other people, to the universe, to the most good… and I am happy to read, learn, and grow. I’m not trying to be stagnant, but I am trying to be myself, and who I was before I started being who I thought I should be.